Discretionary Time

I would like to have more discretionary time.

I wrote recently about my daily routine. I'm still getting through the whole lot most days - but it does take a lot of time. It's usually dinner time when I turn over the last card and after dinner we don't get any 'discretionary' time until Christopher goes to sleep.

If I last for another hour after that it's a good day.

So I get an hour, possibly two per day where I can do whatever I want - like blogging or reading. It's a good thing I read very fast. There are a couple of solutions to this situation:

* cut down on the daily tasks list
* get faster at the tasks so they take less time
* learn to see the tasks in a new light
* quit whining and enjoy the time I do get to myself

The first option isn't really viable - pretty much every item on that list deserves to be there, as do some items that haven't yet made it onto the list. So I'm more likely to increase the list than cut it back.

I'm practicing the second option by trying not to go off on rabbit trails. Today I finished my tasks about half an hour earlier than usual. This is worth doing, but in the end it will only shave off bits here and there.

As for the third option, the following quote really made me think:

For an experience to qualify as leisure, it must meet three criteria: 1) The experience is a state of mind. 2) It must be entered into voluntarily. 3) It must be intrinsically motivating of its own merit. (Neulinger, 1981)

If I understand this correctly, everything I do could become leisure time if I: 1) change my state of mind; 2) enter into it voluntarily; and 3) find it intrinsically motivating. How cool is that? In fact, it relates rather closely to my fourth option above, which I will now put into practice.... at least temporarily....

New Carers

While studying for my exam about four weeks ago, I also made some calls to get some more respite... I always seem to get a lot of extra things done when I'm supposed to be studying. Both Garry and I were reaching a point where more respite was a real priority. Karen has settled in very well as Christopher's tutor (three mornings per week), but that was not proving to be enough.

So I sat down and started calling all the respite and home help places in the phone book. I was beginning to feel desperate, as most places said they had no workers in our area. Finally I came across someone who was willing to listen, and they must have picked up on the hopelessness I was feeling. Since then, that agency has set up nine additional hours of care for us!

The hours are divided into three afternoons of three hours each. They are shared by a team of three carers, two ladies and one man. Christopher has really hit it off with them already. There are plans for woodworking sessions with Geoff; I found Pamela and Christopher checking the oil and water in the Kia, and they have plans to do some cooking next week; and Michelle is going to help with bathing Christopher (a huge help), and is keen to spend time on the computer with him.

It is such a delight to have this all set up. The agency has been so easy to deal with. Mainly, though, Christopher is happy with his new friends and we get more of a break in the afternoons. Catherine has been her usual wonderful self - helping the new carers understand Christopher's speech, and showing them where things are kept. All in all, the respite situation is starting to fall into place at last, which is very good news.

Shoemakers' children always go unshod

Wouldn't you think that the more you learn about the human body, the more likely you are to look after yourself? The longer I study nursing, the more I see the reasoning behind simple health guidelines like getting some exercise, eating a healthy diet and avoiding excess sunlight in the middle of the day.

Yet nurses are as bad as the rest of us when it comes to their health - perhaps even a little worse. On night shifts it's so tempting to nibble on the thank-you chocolates left at the nurse's station by a grateful family member. Ignoring a full bladder for hours on end while you tend to your patients' toileting needs is an everyday occurrence. I could go on and on.

It's the shoemaker's children syndrome.

Determined not to live up to the proverb, I am trying to put some of the health education we learn at university into practice in my own life. My favourite so far is fibre. LOL. Increasing the fibre in my diet has worked wonders. Now I can recommend it to future patients with a clear conscience (and I am working hard not to use the obvious puns, so be grateful). I wonder what I should try next?

Going up?

The normal grocery shopping for our family of four (plus cat) tends to average out at $175 per week. This is only if we eat all our meals at home; no take-away lunches or dinners. As "at home vegetarians" we don't buy much meat, although we do eat fish each week. I don't think we're particularly extravagant, but I've watched this part of our budget steadily increase over the last couple of years. Together with increasing petrol prices, this has meant our budget has required constant revision. In fact, out of the 50 categories in our family budget, only our "savings" have gone down :(

I keep track of the budget in Excel, where I've set up a spreadsheet that automatically calculates the budget for me - all I do is spend 5 minutes per day entering our expenses. I do it daily because after a week it becomes too hard to remember what we spent our money on. This is particularly true of cash purchases. Keeping up with it daily is so much less stressful, especially since the advent of online banking.

I know budgets aren't everyone's cup of tea. However, in our family it has meant one less thing to worry about. If a bill comes in, we can pay it. If we want to spend money on something outside the usual budget, we save for it. Simple and effective. We haven't had a credit card for years now and I don't miss that little convenience at all.

Books by my Bedside

Most unusually for me, there are only three books by my bedside right now:

* "the monk downstairs" a novel by Tim Farrington. This one I'd never heard of until I spotted it in the local library and found myself intruiged by the title. More on this book later, as it's quite a gem.

* "Do It Tomorrow" a time-management/organisational book by Mark Forster. This is a second reading as I felt ready to tackle this topic again. I find that revisiting books like this one helps me gain one or two new skills each time through.

* "Lewis's Medical-Surgical Nursing" a nursing textbook. I know, I know - uni semester is over! But I actually like learning about this stuff :)

Now it's back to the election websites - I am trying to track seven websites at once and blogging only has a fraction of my attention at the moment.

This I Can Say

"We journey on different paths, in many ways, from different directions. Yet when we join together in reverence and respect, we begin to see our connections to one another and to spirit" L. Mooney

On officially becoming a "Quaker" earlier this year, after several years of attending Quaker meetings, I was presented with the book, "This We Can Say". It's a collection of quotations by Australian Quakers and it's a wonderful bedside book for browsing through at night. There are poems, snippets, reflections and mini-essays all of which try to express some facet of what it means to be a Quaker in Australia today. Each time I dip into this book I am refreshed and strengthened by what I read.


I don't really know how to express my spiritual affiliation anymore. It used to be so black and white once upon a time. But nowadays I find myself drawn to paths that allow all people to be themselves. I guess I'd call myself a 'Zen Quaker' right now, but even that is deceptive and misleading.

I like the Quaker focus on equality, integrity/truthfulness, community/caring, simplicity, peace and care of the earth. I also like the fact that most people who call themselves Quakers (that I know of) have lived in a way that I find inspiring, challenging, or encouraging.

As for Zen - well, I'm certainly no Buddhist - but I like the clear cut simplicity and the gentleness of Zen. It's calm and quiet, but also fiery and passionate. I kind of wish I was like that myself. So the dichotomy of calling myself a Zen Quaker suits me right now. It probably won't always be right for me.... but it is enough of a challenge for today :)

P.S. Quakers are not necessarily connected to the oatmeal of the same brand name.

Freecycle

"Changing the world one gift at a time" is the motto of a worldwide movement known as Freecycle. With over 3.3 million members, Freecyle aims to keep reusable goods out of landfill by 'gifting' them to a local network of members. I recently joined the Sunshine Coast group (via Yahoo), which is very active.

The group allows members to send out an email with "offers" of goods that they no longer want, which can then be collected by anyone who wants the item/s for free. Our local group has a great deal of activity - items are snapped up within hours! Once an item has been promised to someone, another email goes out to the group to let them know it has gone.

Offers through my inbox this week have included: videos & DVDs, a toy box, a bread maker, a steam mop, a dining table, several washing machines, clothes, toys, books, a blender, gutters, colourbond fencing panels, security screen doors, a VCR, a stereo, a whipper snipper, garden plants and so on. Members are also allowed to send two "wanted" emails to the group each week.

I've personally thrown away less stuff since joining the group, because I always think to myself that someone on Freecycle might want the item. This alone is a good thing. The other interesting thing I've noticed is how often people offer an item that has "stopped working", and how quickly even those things are snapped up by other group members. It's refreshing to think of broken stereos and washing machines as being in demand, rather than being destined for landfill.

Uni break = ?

Since finishing second semester, my daily routine has been much more manageable. I am actually getting things done around here! I've recently moved my daily task cards back onto my index card "bleacher". As I complete each task I turn that card around. By the end of the day the aim is to have all the cards completed. To my complete amazement, I've actually achieved this the last three days - I don't think that's happened ever before. I'm starting to collect little quotes to write on the back of each card to keep me interested and motivated. Here is a photo of the bleacher with all my task cards on it:


In addition, I've enjoyed getting back into the kitchen (another thing I never thought I'd say!). Here is a photo of some cinnamon scrolls I made:

Not only were they delicious, they also happen to be incredibly easy to throw together.

HbA1c and Kia

"Diabetes is like being expected to play the piano with one hand while juggling items with another hand, all while balancing with deftness and dexterity on a tightrope" - Marlene Less

Today I travelled to Nambour with Christopher for our first visit to the Sunshine Coast Diabetes Clinic. Apart from some minor hiccoughs the trip was uneventful. Christopher's latest HbA1c was 8.5%, which isn't brilliant, but also isn't too bad considering all that's been happening in our lives lately. Unfortunately we had to wait for over 45 minutes after seeing the diabetes educator until we could see the paediatrician. Christopher picked up a few gifts, including a poster that he admired and which the lady took off the wall for him, blue tac and all! Typical.

Now that we have the Kia Carnival back these types of trips are much easier. I am so glad to have a car with a ramp that doesn't break my back. The straps are easier to attach to the wheelchair and I am able to stay modest, even in a short skirt (the Mitsubishi required all sorts of strange contortions to attach the straps). Christopher now sits in the middle row rather than being tucked way into the back of the car - so we can have a conversation while we drive. Hurrah for Freedom Motors, the company that did the modifications.

Oh, and have a look at Christopher's blog - he's trying to choose a colour for his next wheelchair.

How Many Happy Days Have You Had?

Abd Er-Rahman III of Spain: (960 C.E.)

"I have now reigned about 50 years in victory or peace, beloved by my subjects, dreaded by my enemies, and respected by my allies. Riches and honors, power and pleasure, have waited on my call, nor does any earthly blessing appear to have been wanting to my felicity. In this situation, I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot. They amount to fourteen."

FOURTEEN?????!!!! Fourteen days of pure and genuine happiness.... I'm not sure whether Abd Er-Rahman is to be pitied or envied. After all, how many people could honestly say they've had 14 perfectly happy days in their life? On the other hand, fourteen doesn't seem like a lot out of 18,262 days! And who goes around counting things like that anyway? Do you know how many days of pure and genuine happiness you've had in your life?

Just thinking about that reminds me of a scene in the movie "City Slickers", where one of the characters makes the point that often the best day of your life is also the worst day of your life. Actually, that's also the movie where you find out what the secret of life is:

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?
[holds up one finger]
Curly: This.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don't mean shit.
Mitch: But, what is the "one thing?"
Curly: [smiles] That's what *you* have to find out.

Zen Habits

An interesting discussion developed on a blog that I like, about how you can accept yourself as you are, and yet need to change who you are. This is something I have struggled with as I try to start new habits (such as drinking more water) which then fizzle out sometime down the track. I found some of the resulting comments more helpful than others. I guess what I really like is the fact that others struggle with similar questions. What it doesn't help with is the day-to-day habit of drinking more water... but then there is probably a post on the site that mentions it, I just have to find it. The site is Zen Habits by the way. The "Popular Posts by Category" section at the bottom of the blog is a great jumping-off point.

Home Again

Just to let you know, we are home again after a two-week holiday at the beach.... just getting unpacked and settling back in. No doubt the family blog sites will start to show some action now that we're back on broadband.