Alert

Christopher has added a new post to his blog site.

Clive

While on holidays last week, I picked up a treasure trove in the form of a book by Clive James, called "Cultural Amnesia". It is a series of essays which are just long enough to read in one sitting, but thought-provoking and meaty enough to provide food for thought for many days. Each essay focuses on a person who has made a contribution to culture in the 20th century - although not always in a positive way.

I have enjoyed James's sense of humour and cutting insights ever since Garry and I avidly watched his TV series, "Fame in the 20th Century" (in the hazy days early in our marriage, before kids). A dear friend (Connie) pointed us to his website last year: Clivejames.com click here if you're interested in taking a look.

Time Out

One of the hardest things about having a break from caring for Christopher, is the way it highlights anew how much it usually demands of you. When you're in the midst of it there's little time to consider the full effect it has on your life. But as soon as you're removed from it for more than a few hours, you have time to realise 'what might have been'. Too, it allows for a sudden upsurge of grief that still catches me unawares after all these years.

My parents have suggested several times that Garry and I should have a whole week away together. What scares me is how much time that would give us to explore who we are when we are not carers. What if all that does is make it harder to keep going? I'm not sure it's a good enough reason not to do it - but I am afraid to set myself free for one week, knowing that at the end of it there is no choice but to return.

Of course, it's possible that one week is long enough to allow me to bring new joy and energy to the role of carer. That is a good enough reason to try it at least once!

Umeshisms

I have lifted the following directly from a blog called Graham Weekly, mainly because it's a quirky way of thinking and it caught my eye. I can relate to the one about blog entries, in particular.

Umeshisms: better strategies for life

If you’ve never missed a flight, you’re spending too much time in airports.

Scott Aaronson takes the principle of Umeshisms to be "concentrate on the high order bits" - don't have your life dominated by the effort of avoiding minor negative events, because the optimal strategy doesn't avoid those events completely. "If you have never regretted a blog entry, your blog is boring".

I was thinking about them occasionally the last few weeks, and have tried to come up with decent general form. It goes like this: If you never experience negative event X, you would be better off with a different approach, even though that approach means X might happen sometimes.

From that template you can generate all sorts of wisdom from the ages:

If you never get rejected, you aren't asking enough (Scott Aaronson).
A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new (Einstein).
If you never fail, you aren't aiming high enough.
The following I started applying to my own life a couple of months ago: if you've never forgotten to lock your room, you're spending too much time going back to check.

Punting on the Avon

One of my favourite touristy outings in Christchurch was punting on the Avon River with my new friend, Lucija. Here are some pics:





It was such a peaceful, beautiful time - very special. I could happily do that for hours, with some champagne and a picnic lunch.... and Garry by my side (winks).

Clubbing in Christchurch

One of the most out-of-character things I did while in Christchurch was going clubbing (if that's what it's still called?).

Showing my age now: it has been 15 years since I last did this! It was heaps of fun. The local Golden Key chapter had organised a very thorough guide to Christchurch's best bars and clubs, so that most of us ended up in the same places at the same time.

Yes, I danced (a little, and very badly). I went to the Bog (great Guinness), the Iconic, and a Japanese bar called the Ishimoto. However, my personal favourite had to be The Grumpy Mole (aka The Angry Mole, The Grumpy Animal, The Crazy Mole, and whatever else people mistook it to be named).

A Welcome and Farewell

On our first night in New Zealand, we were welcomed by a group of wonderful Maori people in a Powhiri ceremony. Their beautiful singing and enthusiastic performance will stay with me for a very long time to come.

Very sadly, one of the group members had a heart attack as the group was leaving the university campus. Together with a number of other wonderful people, I suddenly found myself performing CPR in the carpark, surrounded by Maori relatives and friends of the man. (I only did this for a few minutes, then someone relieved me until the ambulance finally arrived).

Haunting is probably the only word that describes this experience. The way that the whole group gathered round and kept calling out for their "uncle" to stay with them was incredible. At one point, tears were splashing down beside my hands as I did compressions, and I glanced up to see one of the young women from the group weeping above me.

We learned later that the man died in hospital. I am still coming to terms with what happened, as this was the first time I'd had to use my CPR training in a real emergency. Working in palliative care has meant facing death full on, but hospice work doesn't usually require resuscitation. So it was a sad welcome to NZ in the end, which will always shape the way I remember my time there.

Kia ora tatou

Right - I'm home!

I suffered a little bit from internet withdrawal symptoms while in Christchurch, so it's nice to be back online. The conference was fantastic, Christchurch is beautiful, and I'm very, very tired.

Here are just a couple of pics - and tomorrow I hope to blog in more detail about some of the things that touched my heart, caught my eye, and challenged my thinking.