Self Doubts

I have just experienced one of my periods of self doubt - as in, "How the heck am I supposed to be a good mother when I am so pathetic and immature?" How does anyone ever manage this parenting business without the most immense feelings of regret and doubt and guilt?

At times I look at my 9 year old daughter and 11 year old son, and am just so, so proud. Then at other times I crumble under the weight of responsibility. You know those times when being tired has become your whole world? Those are the times I struggle to remain fair to my children and the wonder they represent in my life.

Those are also the times I most need to step back and gain perspective. I think of how lucky we are to even have Christopher. I remember the time Catherine first slept by my side as a newborn baby. I look at my husband from across a room and my heart beats a little faster. I gaze at the full moon and realise anew how incredibly precious this life is.

Even writing this has helped. I'm guessing a hot bath will help even more.

Peace,
Tamara